*.trying to get over him.*

how many times do i have to pretend that i still have this feeling for you? i tried so hard to forget you.Trying to make things better, for both of us. But this feeling won't just fade away.The more you ignore me, the more i realize how important you are to me. Everytime I remember you, I just keep on missing you. Thoughts are bothering me "why?why?why?.. why did i just let you go?". I was a jerk for letting you go. After those girls going after just to have you, to have a handsome,sweet, caring and loving guy like you(That's why sometimes i just can't stop myself from comparing my other suitors to him). But i chose to lose you for my priorities. But sometimes, i ask myself "Did i choose a right decision? letting him go just like that?" or " will i be happy without him?". I always want to relive those memories when we're together, the times when he use to "asar" me and call me with different names (such as pato and bayot), going with me when i need an accompany, visits me when i'm in the clinic, makes me laugh when adversity comes and someone whom i can share with my problems when i'm isolated with those people around me. But didnt he realized how much i do appreciate his effort just to see me?, eventhough he is distant from me. And how greatful am I to have a persistent suitor like him? though he knew that there could be no commitment between us. But i think things would just end up this way, leaving those memories behind and move on with our different lives. But i hope someday, i can truly say "i have finally moved on" .. :)

yes, you have read it right, he's just my suitor
but this feeling that i have was more than an
infatuation or whatever. Though we dont have
any commitment but i have felt this strange
feeling for him. He's merely different from
those other guys i've met.